FLORIDA LIFE

Let me start by saying that since the new year I have realized how many great things have been handed to me whether I deserved them or not. This 2006 year has been about some bad choices and some great choices. The bad choices luckily are not really so bad and the good choices are really gooc choices in my opinion, (which is all you get for now, oh well). At the end of the summer I got offered a physical education position at West Boca Raton High School in Florida. I was so excited and accepted immediately. The first month was fun, but then the job started to wear on me. I began to think seriously about quitting. I would call in at a whim and hated being there. Hated the people I worked with. Hated everything except for my JV soccer girls. Or at least I thought I did. During this time I had a house guest that overstayed his welcome tremendously. I always want to help people out, but things got ridiculous. This guy claimed he was going to help pay rent and bills and in a 6 month period gave me about $200 for the $855 I pay per month without including utilities. I got taken advantage of and deserved it to some extent. I trusted someone that I didn't know that well instead of taking the advice of people that have developed a relationship with over the course of the year that I have lived here in Florida. Anyways, he is gone!! After the break, I was given an ultimatum either I had to resign or my job was going to be terminated. I had been telling people to leave me alone about the fact that I wanted to quit and to stop telling me that teaching is a great opportunity for me. I defended my negative attitude towards teaching to any and everybody until that ultimatum was given to me. I was more miserable than I had been in well... almost forever. I was sure I was going to share this or not, but ég skal segja sumir...Ég var rekin að þjálfa út af því ég var alltaf seint að vinnuna og ég var að rífast með yvirmaðurinn minn. Það var bara einn leikur eftir og leikmenn, ég, og foreldrar vorum allir óanægðir. The moment my principle told me that I had the weekend to quit or be fired something clicked and I wanted this job more than ever. I finally woke up and realized that I was not a child anymore and needed to grow up and accept responsibility. That is exactly what I did. I have been on time to school every morning and love my job the way everyone told me I should have loved it from the beginning. I don't know why it took all that crap to go down to realize how great I had it, but I thank my lucky stars that I had that little string left for me to grab on to. I told my principle that I couldn't and wouldn't quit and I understood that he had to do what was best for his school. He is a wonderful man and through everything I never had any ill-feelings toward him. The day came for him to tell me it was my last day and I didn't hear from him. A week past and still nothing. I guess I did a 180 that convinced him to let me stay. Like I said I am loving it.
I started eating french fries again. I lasted 1 year and 1 week. I still don't eat candy or meat and I am smiling a lot more these days. Things are starting to come together and I hope I can keep smiling as much as I am now. I miss Iceland so much. You all are my family and friends. I will never forget you guys and can't wait to check in you all. Be in touch.

Sjáumst!!

P.S. Saint is so wonderful!! I couldn't have a better dog!!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will not be spending it with any family. It was one thing to be overseas and not celebrate Thanksgiving because they don't have it, but at least I was with family. Now, I am so financially stressed that I couldn't even afford to go to my mom's for the holidays. Thanksgiving is a cute holiday and all, but Christmas is the holiday that is truly stressing me out. For the past few years you all probably know that Helgi and I took turns as to which family we would spend Christmas with. This year it's my turn and that ticket is already bought and ready for me to go. "Should I stay or should I go"? That question is haunting me. Why can't things be simple? Why did they ever have to get all crazy and out of control? I know everything happens for a reason, but I just want to know what that reason is already. I am so impatient sometimes.
A couple of weeks ago I went to watch my first ice hockey game. I won tickets from my bank just by entering some drawing. It was pretty fun to tell you the truth. Ég var ekki svo ánægð við vinir sem ég for með og mig langarði meira vinir að koma með en það var ekki mikið tíma til að finna einnhvern sem gæti koma með. En svona er það.
Í dag í skolanum ég gerði ekki neitt. Ég kom með myndirnar og við horfðum á myndina bara. Ég for að sófa eina skipti líka. Ég var svo þreytt. Var buin að horfa video 3 sinnum aður en ég for að sofa.
Ég er að þjálfa núna og við erum 2-0. Við unnum 7-0 og svo 5-1. Í fyrsti leiki við skorðuðum 6 í fyrra hálf leik og svo sagði ég hæta skjóta!! Við vörum bara að senda og senda og svo allt í einum við skorum. Stelpan sem skóraði var að reyna að senda boltan bar fyrir fram hjá markinu og skóraði í staðan. Mig langarði ekki að skóra meira ut af því ef það er 8 mörk á milli okkur þá leikurinn er búinn. Þú matt ekki spila meira. Þau kalla þetta "the mercy rule". Í annar leikurinn við started alveg horribly. Þær skoraðir alveg strax. ÉG VAR ALVEG BRYJÁLUÐ!! En eftir smá allt var gott. Við scored 4 fyrr en hálf leik og 1 í seinna hálf leik. Og gleymdi að segja, það var svo mikið rigning líka!! Okei ekki alveg eins og á íslandi en samt. Ég er bara rugluð!! Í gær það voru 4 stelpur sem mættir klukka tíma og fimm minutur of seint út af því þær for til meeting fyrir aðra iþrotta sem heita Lacrosse. Og líka þær veita ef þú vilt að koma of seinnt þú verður að tala við mig sjálfa þig ekki segja vinkona þinn að segja mér og þær gerðir það ekki. Stelpurnar var að hlaupa og hlaupa og hlaupa svo ofsalega mikið!! Eg elska þeim núna en í gær vóó!!
Jæja ég er farin. Tala við ykkur seinna.
Sorry ég skrifa svo vitlaust íslensku núna. Ég vissi það var ekki svo ömurlegt en Helgi Már var að hlæja mér þegar hann sendi mér tölvupost í gær. Svona er það. Ég skal reyna að skrifa og tala meira. hehe með hverjum get ég að tala við hérna í bandarikjunum. Ég er svo heimsk. Ég er ekki ennþá að búin að hitta Eyruní í Fort Lauderdale sídan hún kom aftur. En samt Helgi og ég ætlaðir að fara til hennar þegar það var afmæli sitt en hún hætta hafa partí heima hjá henni. Ég verð að hitta hana bráðum!!
Bless Bless

This break up is the hardest thing that I have had to deal with in a long time. I'm still trying to understand how two people can be in love and care for each other, but one of them still refuses to try and work it out. I wish someone could just sit me down and explain it to me. Everytime I think I can move on I sober up and realize that it's just a front that I put on, a mask so to speak. Everyone wants to help me, but no one can. I feel like my whole world has come crashing down on me. I've lost an incredibly wonderful boyfriend, due to my own fault, along with a terrific family that I miss so much, and not to mention my friends. I am starting to stop feeling sorry for myself. Through all the groveling and begging for him to come back to me I realized that I had lost the person that he fell in love with. So now I have to get myself back in order for me. Not for any one else, but myself because whether he ever decides to give me a chance or not I need to be ok all by myself. I'm only 24. I have lots of years to find someone to share my life with. I just need to make sure to enjoy my own life first. It sucks that I couldn't figure out sooner that I was pushing him away, but what is done is done. I made some huge mistakes in our relationship and dwelled over some insignificant things. Now, I need to make sure that I learn from my mistakes so I don't ever make them again. (ok, let's be honest, I'm kind of an airhead and will probably make some of those same mistakes over and over again before I really learn).

Teaching is definitely a challenge. Much more challenging than I ever imagined, but now that the soccer season has started and I'm coaching too it definitely relives some stress. I had to get tough in my classes so that my students would finally start to respect me. I think it is working, slowly, but it's working. I am also starting to actually plan my classes. Whoa, what a difference between getting there and winging it, let me tell you.

I miss playing soccer. I feel like there is a void in my life that needs to be filled. I don't know if I will ever be able to play in Iceland again, but I am looking into playing overseas again next year. My New's Year's resolution is to become game-fit again. I know it's going to be hard to do, but my life needs some direction to get me back on track and working out is just the thing to do.

Mig langar að fara aftur til íslands eitthvað tíma en það er svo erfitt að hugsa um að fara aftur um jólin eins og ég ætlaði að gera fyrr en við hættum saman. Ég hélt við mundum aldrei hætta saman. Við vörum svo goðar saman held ég en svona er það. Hann skal altaf vera í hjárta minn og líka mamma, pabba, broðir, systir, frænka, og allt restina. Þegar við vörum saman ég var betra kona. Hann hjálpaði mér að hætta drekka og djamma svo mikið og líka að langar að læra að elda og þrífa. "I had the time of my life and I owe it all to you".

Jæja ég er að reyna að horfa video og líka skrífa og það er svona erfitt að fylgis með. Skal skrífa meira seinna. Bless bless!!

I am stuck in a not so good place. My once figured out life is now a day to day event to keep going. My mom came to visit me and that was wonderful. She got me some new things that I had been wanting, sunglasses and a watch, along with a crapload of groceries. She even rearranged my kitchen so that it was in some orderly fashion. When it was done originally it wasn't such a wonderful job, but I never did anything about it. Having her here helped out, but now she is gone and I am alone again. I miss you like crazy already and you just left this morning.
The people I want to help me either aren't around or have choosen not to help. The people that want to help me don't understand why I don't want their help. I spend so much energy trying to get people in my life that don't want to be that if I am not careful the people that want to be in my life are going to give up and then is that any better for me? Should I just take who I can get at this point?
Teaching is a more difficult task than I had imagined. I am not going to give up on it just yet, but when is it going to get easier? Luckily, it's not so messed up that I have been forced to quit, but how can I teach others when my life is so hectic?
Soccer is so difficult for me right now. My knee is always hurting. I doubt I will ever play competitively again so that's just one more thing for me to complain about.
That's what I do these days. I whine and complain about life. It's so hard for me to find the good things, but I'm not completely lost forever yet, because I still know they are there. The good things....somewhere. I know if I make it through these hard times that I will be one of the strongest bitches alive. I just hope I make it through and if I do I hope that I can find the love and happiness that I once used to exude to everyone around me.
I think I need a vacation. Away from everyone where I have no responsibilities. Of course, I have no time or funds for that. I'm barely staying above water with my extra-curricular activities growing more and more out of hand everyday. I miss my true friends. Or maybe I never really had any. All I know is this place is sad and dreary for me. Well, the truth is I make it that way for myself. Feeling sorry for yourself never does anything, but destroy you. I know this, but I continue to do it. Where is the strength in that? Absolutely No Where. The same place that I am today.

Congratulations to the men's team in Grindavik, Iceland, who has again saved themselves from being knocked down from premiere to 1st division in the last game of the season. I hope you all are having a wonderful time tonight. Til hamingju til hamingju til hamingju!! Eg er svo rosalega anaegd en mig langar ad vera med ykkur i kvold. Eg sakna island svo mikid en kem aftur um jolin.
Congratulations also to my old college roommate and wonderful friend Christine Aulicino. She is now engaged to another soccer player from ODU Chuck Connelly. I am so happy for the two of you. You are a beautiful couple who care for people so much. The world needs more people like you two.
Well, my disease has struck again. My dumb butt went to the atm and forgot to get my card back. So hopefully I can get it back from the bank, but I don't know because I didn't go to my bank. Big mistake. Helgi and I had problems with an atm before and I swore I was never going to use an atm that takes your card in the machine again....and I haven't....until yesterday and what happened??? Of course my card is lost again!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Thank goodness my bank stays open so late so I could go get money out so I wasn't broke the rest of the weekend. My mom is coming to visit soon and hopefully it will be the same time that Helgi comes to visit. I can't wait for them to get here. I haven't had any family here since May when Helgi and I left to go to Iceland. It's a little sad not having any family around, but it's all good I'm a big girl and can handle it. At least I think I am a big girl. hehe
Teaching is good, but a little crazy sometimes. Those teens with their hormones are out of control sometime. Getting hit on by little 15 years is not my idea of a good time and if one more student or teacher tells me I look like a high school student I'm going to lose it. I am not a high school student. I am a high school teacher. I am 24 years old for goodness sake. I graduated college in 2002 and high school in 1998 about 8 years ago. Geeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Well, I haven't done a damn' thing all day. I have to grade a bunch of quizzes and get my grades in order before monday when they are due. So I'm going to jump in the shower and get on with it....maybe. Or maybe I'll just wait until tomorrow. I might not have time though. I have to go to a soccer car wash tomorrow. Hey it's only 9-14 and I doubt I have to stay the whole time. I hope not that is.
Okay I'm done blabbing today. Olof give me a call I don't have your number anymore. I lost that phone a long time ago that had your digits baby girl. I miss you lots!! Have a good bday. It's tomorrow, right? At least I think so. Happy birthday to you too Margret. Tell the family I said hello and I miss them please. I hope Erla had a good bday too. It past, right? I hope I'm not making up birthdates for you guys. Talk to you latas. Sjaumst!!